Helping Your Toddler Poop in the Toilet

Help your toddler conquer the potty puzzle! Discover strategies to overcome fear and anxiety, and tackle common challenges in toilet training.

By Brighter Strides ABA

August 1, 2024

Understanding Toilet Training Readiness

Before beginning the toilet training journey with your toddler, it's important to understand the signs of readiness and the developmental milestones that indicate their readiness for this milestone. Every child is unique, and it's essential to be patient and supportive throughout the process.

Signs of Readiness

Most children begin to show signs of readiness for toilet training when they're between 18 and 24 months old, although some may not be ready until later. Boys often start later and take longer to learn to use the potty than girls [1]. Some signs that indicate your child may be ready to begin toilet training include:

Being dry for at least 2 hours at a time during the day.
Showing signs of discomfort or signaling before peeing or pooping.
Being able to follow simple instructions.
Walking to and from the bathroom independently.
Expressing a desire to be changed when wet.
Showing interest in using the toilet or potty-chair.
Expressing a desire to wear "big-kid" underwear.

It's important to note that each child may exhibit some or all of these signs at different times. Every child develops at their own pace, so it's crucial to be patient and supportive as they navigate this new skill.

Developmental Milestones

Toilet training readiness is closely linked to the development of bladder and bowel control. Children generally start to have bladder and bowel control between 18 and 24 months of age. However, the average age for toilet training is around 27 months [3]. Some developmental milestones that indicate readiness for toilet training include:

Awareness of bladder and bowel signals: Children need to be aware of their own bodily signals to begin the toilet training process. This includes recognizing the need to pee or poop and being able to communicate this need.
Ability to follow simple instructions: Toilet training involves following instructions, such as sitting on the potty or toilet when prompted.
Walking to and from the bathroom: The physical ability to walk to the bathroom independently is an important milestone for toilet training.
Desire for independence: Expressing a desire to wear underwear and be more independent in managing their toileting needs shows readiness for toilet training.
Interest in imitating others: Children often show an interest in imitating adults or older siblings using the toilet, which can be a sign that they are ready to learn this skill.

Understanding these signs of readiness and developmental milestones can help you determine if your toddler is prepared for toilet training. It's important to remember that every child is different, and they will progress at their own pace. Be patient, provide support, and celebrate each small success along the way.

Common Challenges in Potty Training

As toddlers navigate the world of potty training, they may encounter various challenges along the way. Two common hurdles are the fear of pooping in the toilet and withholding behavior. Let's explore these challenges and understand how to address them effectively.

Fear of Pooping

It is not uncommon for toddlers to develop anxiety or fear when it comes to pooping in the toilet. They may exhibit no issues with peeing in the potty but become nervous or scared when it's time to poop. This hang-up is relatively common and can stem from various reasons, such as fear of sitting on the toilet seat, being scared of the flushing noise, or simply being too engrossed in play to take a break and use the toilet [4].

To address this fear, it's essential to create a comfortable and supportive toilet environment. Encourage your toddler to use a child-friendly toilet seat or a step stool to make sitting on the toilet more secure and less intimidating. Additionally, consider using positive reinforcement techniques, such as praise or small rewards, to help your child feel more confident and incentivized to use the toilet for pooping. Gradually desensitizing them to flushing noises by introducing the sound in a non-threatening way can also be helpful.

Withholding Behavior

Withholding behavior refers to when a child intentionally holds their poop instead of using the toilet. This behavior can be a result of passing a painful or uncomfortable stool, leading the child to associate pain with pooping. Stool withholding is more common in boys but can occur in any child during the potty training process [5].

To address withholding behavior, it's crucial to create a supportive and understanding environment. Parents can try an intermediate solution where the child is allowed to change into a pull-up or diaper when they feel ready to poop. Afterward, the parent can empty the poop into the toilet and flush together with the child, demonstrating where the poop goes. This approach helps the child understand the process and gradually encourages them to transition to using the toilet consistently.

In addition to addressing the behavioral aspect, it's important to consider any underlying physical factors that may contribute to withholding behavior. Painful poops due to constipation can discourage a child from using the toilet. Parents can make dietary adjustments to reduce constipation, ensuring the child consumes five high-fiber foods per day and stays hydrated. If constipation persists, it may be necessary to consult a pediatrician for further guidance and possible medical interventions.

By understanding and addressing the fear of pooping and withholding behavior, parents can navigate these common potty training challenges with patience and support. Remember that each child progresses at their own pace, and consistency, positive reinforcement, and a nurturing environment are key to successful potty training.

Addressing Fear and Anxiety

For many toddlers, the transition from using diapers to using the toilet can be accompanied by fear and anxiety, especially when it comes to pooping. It's not uncommon for toddlers to feel nervous or scared when it's time to poop in the toilet. This can be due to various factors, such as fear of the bathroom environment or a desire to exert control [4]. In this section, we will explore strategies to address fear and anxiety when it comes to pooping in the toilet.

Toilet Environment Comfort

One of the ways to address fear and anxiety is to create a comfortable and secure toilet environment for your toddler. Providing a sturdy potty seat or a stable step stool can help the child feel more secure while sitting on the toilet. Additionally, offering a potty chair as an alternative to the regular toilet can also provide a sense of familiarity and comfort.

It can also be helpful to introduce sensory elements to the toilet environment. For example, you can consider placing a sensory toy or another comforting item near the toilet to provide a positive association and reduce anxiety. These small adjustments can go a long way in helping your toddler feel more at ease while using the toilet.

Desensitizing to Noises

Some toddlers may experience anxiety or fear associated with certain noises in the bathroom, such as the loud flushing noise. To help your toddler overcome this fear, you can gradually desensitize them to these noises. Start by explaining to your child what the noise is and why it happens. You can demonstrate the flushing process and provide reassurance that it is a normal part of using the toilet.

Then, gradually introduce the sound by flushing the toilet when your child is outside the bathroom. Over time, bring your child closer to the bathroom while flushing. This step-by-step approach can help your toddler become more familiar and comfortable with the noise, reducing their anxiety.

By addressing fear and anxiety in the toilet environment, you can help your toddler overcome their hesitation and develop a positive association with using the toilet for both peeing and pooping. Remember to be patient and provide plenty of support and encouragement throughout the process. For more tips on effective potty training strategies, refer to our article on effective potty training strategies.

Dealing with Constipation

Constipation can be a common issue that causes toddlers to resist pooping in the toilet. It's important for parents to address constipation effectively to help their child feel more comfortable and confident during toilet training. There are two primary approaches to tackling constipation: dietary adjustments and medical interventions.

Dietary Adjustments

Making dietary changes can significantly reduce constipation and improve bowel movements in toddlers. Ensuring that your child consumes five high-fiber foods per day and stays well-hydrated can help alleviate constipation [4]. Here are some high-fiber foods that can be incorporated into your child's diet:

By including these fiber-rich foods in your child's meals and snacks, you can help regulate their bowel movements and reduce the discomfort associated with constipation. Remember to introduce these dietary changes gradually to allow your child's body to adjust.

Medical Interventions

In some cases, dietary adjustments may not be sufficient to address constipation in toddlers. If constipation persists or becomes severe, medical interventions may be necessary. It's important to consult a pediatrician to evaluate the situation and determine the best course of action [4].

One commonly recommended treatment for constipation is the use of laxative medications or stool softeners. Miralax, a laxative containing PEG 3350, is often prescribed for functional constipation in children. It softens stool and is considered safe by the American Academy of Pediatrics. It's important to follow the pediatrician's guidance and dosage instructions when using any medication for constipation relief [7].

Medical interventions should always be discussed with a healthcare professional to ensure the safety and well-being of your child. They can provide guidance on the appropriate treatments and monitor your child's progress.

By implementing dietary adjustments and seeking medical interventions when necessary, parents can help their toddler overcome constipation and increase their comfort level with pooping in the toilet. Patience, consistency, and a supportive environment are key during this stage of toilet training.

Effective Potty Training Strategies

When it comes to potty training, employing effective strategies can greatly assist in helping your toddler overcome challenges and successfully transition to using the toilet. Two key strategies to consider are positive reinforcement and consistency and patience.

Positive Reinforcement

Using positive reinforcement is a powerful tool in encouraging your toddler to poop in the toilet. By staying upbeat and creating a positive environment around potty training, you can motivate and reward your child's efforts [4]. Celebrating each successful potty usage, providing specific praise, and using rewards or incentives such as sticker charts, cheers, or small treats can make the experience more enjoyable and motivate your child to continue their progress [5]. However, it is important to note that rewards should be used sparingly and not solely relied upon. Mastery of the skill itself should be the ultimate reward for success.

Consistency and Patience

Consistency and patience are crucial elements in potty training. Establishing a consistent routine and approach can help your toddler understand and anticipate the expectations around using the toilet. This includes setting regular potty times and ensuring that your child has ample opportunity to use the toilet throughout the day. By consistently reinforcing the desired behavior and providing gentle reminders, you can help your toddler develop a routine and feel more comfortable with the process.

Patience is key during potty training, as every child progresses at their own pace. It's important to remain calm and avoid pressuring or becoming frustrated with your child. Instead, maintain a positive and enthusiastic attitude, encouraging your toddler to keep trying. Creating a positive and exciting environment around potty training can motivate your child to engage in the process [4]. Remember that accidents and setbacks are a normal part of the learning process, and with patience and support, your toddler will gradually become more comfortable and successful in using the toilet.

By utilizing these effective potty training strategies of positive reinforcement, consistency, and patience, you can create a nurturing and encouraging environment that promotes your toddler's progress and success. Remember to tailor your approach to your child's unique needs and developmental milestones, celebrating each milestone achieved along the way. With time, patience, and a positive mindset, your toddler will conquer the potty puzzle and become a confident toilet user.

For more interesting reads, you can refer to article on The Relationship Between Autism and Bed Wetting

Seeking Professional Guidance

While most potty training challenges can be addressed at home, there may be instances where seeking professional guidance becomes necessary. If your toddler consistently refuses to poop in the toilet and you're facing difficulties in resolving the issue, consulting a pediatrician can provide valuable insights and guidance. Additionally, they can help rule out any underlying medical conditions contributing to the problem.

Consulting a Pediatrician

A pediatrician is a healthcare professional specializing in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. They are well-versed in child development and can offer expert advice on potty training challenges. When consulting a pediatrician regarding your toddler's reluctance to poop in the toilet, they may:

Assess your child's overall health and development to rule out any medical conditions that may be causing discomfort during bowel movements.
Provide recommendations based on your child's specific situation and offer strategies tailored to their needs.
Suggest dietary adjustments to alleviate constipation, if applicable. Increasing fiber intake and ensuring adequate hydration can help soften stools and facilitate easier bowel movements.
Offer guidance on implementing intermediate solutions, such as allowing the child to use a pull-up or diaper for bowel movements initially, and gradually transitioning to using the toilet [4].
Address any concerns or questions you may have regarding your toddler's potty training progress.

Medication Options

In some cases, pediatricians may recommend medication to help alleviate constipation and address stool withholding behavior. One commonly recommended medication is Miralax, which contains PEG 3350. Miralax is considered safe by the American Academy of Pediatrics and is used to soften stool, making it easier to pass. It does not cause autism spectrum disorders or dependence [7].

It's important to note that medication should only be used under the guidance and supervision of a healthcare professional. Your pediatrician will assess the specific needs of your child and determine if medication is a suitable option.

Remember, seeking professional guidance can provide valuable support and expertise when facing challenges in potty training. A pediatrician can guide you through the process, offer reassurance, and help develop a plan tailored to your child's needs. With their assistance, you can work towards overcoming the obstacles and promoting successful potty training for your toddler.